No matter what I do my brain won’t shut down so that I can sleep. I keep replaying what happened today to try and make sense of it. The only person from high school that I’m still friends with but hardly talk to called me today saying he is going to buy me a game and bring it around on Wednesday morning. When I asked him why he’s getting me something, his response was that because I’ve always helped him out since we were little he wanted to do something for me.
The things I’ve done don’t compare to one game. And why such a hurry to get it for me and he wants to bring it first thing in the morning. I’m struggling to leave the house as I’m scared to be around people. Things have gotten worse and I’m hardly drinking any liquids now, I only had a glass of juice today, yesterday I think I had half a glass of water. I can’t remember what happened on Friday. I’m dehydrated. A game is the last thing I care about.
Then I start getting Facebook requests from people I use to know at school but no longer talk to, why are you sending me friend requests? We are not friends and never were. I know the reason though. They want me to do something. It’s the only time people go out of their way to contact me.
Well I’m tired if helping people. I need help. I’m broken and even though I can usually fix other people, I can’t seem to fix myself. I don’t know how to and I have no one to talk to about it. On top of that I have 2 presents to send to 2 people but can’t even get the courage to leave the house to send them so I feel like I’m letting them down or something. Like I’m a worthless friend, which at this point in time I am. Yeah and that’s why I can’t sleep.
And why doesn’t tumblr let me do the snippet tag thing on the iPod? Without it this becomes a monster post on people’s dashboards.